


double-take

by loonyloopyluna



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: F/F, Lovelace thinks she isn't, Maxwell thinks she's straight, kind of a gay panic fic?, tbh i just spitewrote this after i read something that really pissed me off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonyloopyluna/pseuds/loonyloopyluna
Summary: There's nothing quite like coming face-to-face with gay thoughts, 8 lightyears from Earth.





	

“You know, Maxwell,” Lovelace said one day. “It’s good to have you around.”

The two had begun spending more time together ever since that day on the Urania, when they’d nearly succeeded in breaking through to the Colonel’s classified files. Maxwell felt herself drawn to the captain, perhaps out of curiosity for her well-developed hacking skills, and Lovelace seemed to enjoy her company as well.

“What do you mean?” Maxwell asked. They were in Engineering; Maxwell was doing routine maintenance on one of Hera’s systems, while Lovelace, had the luxury of lounging around, and decided to accompany her.

“Well, for one thing, you’re doing wonders for Hera.”

Maxwell snorted. “I’ll say. I have no idea what you were doing before I got here, but whatever it was--”

“It wasn’t pretty,” Hera agreed.

Maxwell typed a couple more lines of code, and they lapsed into silence for a few minutes. Then Lovelace continued, “And, you know, it’s nice to have some company around here. I don’t have to tell you how extraordinarily boring it is to be stuck on a boat full of straight people for who the hell _knows_ how long.”

Maxwell’s head yanked up as if the captain’s words had pulled back on a string. “Wait, what?”

“I mean, Eiffel gets annoying fast, and, no offense Hera, but you’re not all that great for casual conversation.” Lovelace laughed. “Minkowski’s great sometimes, but she can be even more of a stick-in-the-mud than Lambert was, sometimes. And, well, I’d give anything to have the old crew back, but that’s never going to happen. I'd rather not even _mention_ Hilbert. When Cutter sent in help, I'll admit, it was... interesting to have some variety. I haven't exactly seen many other people since I got stuck up here. And out of the, ah, Terrible Trio, you’re not so bad. It’s nice to have another gay woman around.”

Maxwell chuckled humorlessly. “Well, I appreciate it, captain, but I’m not a lesbian.”

“Oh, of course, I didn’t mean to assume,” Lovelace said. “I just meant gay, or bi, or pan, or--”

“No, I mean, I’m straight.”

“Oh.” Lovelace didn't even falter, and grinned. “I still stand by what I said, though. You’re not terrible.”

“Thanks.” Maxwell turned back to the screen. “How does that feel, Hera?”

“Much better, Doctor Maxwell,” Hera replied, with nary a glitch in her voice. “Oh, and Captain? Mr. Jacobi needs your assistance in the armory. And when I say assistance, I mean he’s trying to smuggle explosives out of there. As master-at-arms, I thought you should--”

“On my way, Hera,” Lovelace said, swinging herself down from the tabletop she’d been sitting on. As she floated past Maxwell to the door, she gave her a friendly punch on the shoulder. “You know, you really should start training him better.”

* * *

Maxwell would have preferred it if things were awkward between them after that. Instead, Lovelace seemed to take everything in stride, and remained just as comfortable around Maxwell as before; shooting finger guns as she and Eiffel went past the mess, doing pullups in the hall to pass time when she couldn’t sleep, floating past her doorway with a, “Shower’s all yours, doc.” A wink during muster, a smirk as they passed in the halls; every interaction was suddenly, endlessly, frustrating.

Because Maxwell had suspected that the captain had been flirting with her. And now that she knew for certain that she wasn’t, she realized that she _wanted_ her to. At first, she tried to laugh away her own vanity and move on. She didn’t want to be _that_ person, who immediately assumed all gay women were irresistibly attracted to her, but she was undeniably upset that Lovelace had been strictly toeing the line of friendship. Maxwell missed living in that ambiguous state, though it had only been a few days since it had been shattered; every interaction could be flirting, could be friendly; it was up to the other’s interpretation, based on their own motivations. Now that Maxwell knew that Lovelace’s intentions were strictly friendly, she tried to pull back.

Lovelace was an affectionate, lively person; you could tell from her logs from the first mission. Some of that remained with her still, and that side came out the most when she was around Maxwell. Maxwell, on the other hand, had been called cold and unfeeling many times. Jacobi was arguably her best friend, and even with him she kept a cool head and a mild demeanor. And she began treating the captain with the same behavior; like Jacobi, she was sarcastic, grumpy, and a little too trigger-happy, but their dynamic was so much different, and she had found herself being pulled along.

She was the only one holding herself back from the way things were, but she couldn’t stop herself from building the wall. It had been a week since that innocent conversation; Lovelace likely didn’t remember it, but it had been the pebble to start an avalanche in Maxwell’s mind. When Lovelace had left the room, Hera made some comment, trying to diffuse the awkwardness, but Maxwell had lapsed into her own thoughts.

She had acted differently around Lovelace than anyone else, almost unintentionally. It wasn’t until Lovelace’s comments that Maxwell retreated to her analytic side and took apart the pieces of her relationships. She’d said, “I’m straight,” out of reflex, but if she thought about it, she’d never really given herself time to think about it. She had a boyfriend in high school, out of routine more than anything else, and in college she had been too young and too smart; her peers viewed her as a child prodigy more than anything else, both below and above their league. They were more mature, and she more intelligent, and therefore there could be no level ground.

As she became an adult and entered the field, she became more enamored with spending her time with robots. She’d dated a colleague for a few months, but it proved to be an obstruction to her own work, and she broke it off. When she joined SI-5, she began a more secretive lifestyle, and although it sounded much more glamorous to say it that way, she entered a world of espionage. She had been undercover a few times, and had seduced men and women alike (as Jacobi loved to mention, not well). She had viewed them all with the same detached, objective lens; they weren’t romantic interests, but simply assets. She did what she had to in order to get the job done.

Her relationship with Lovelace was unique. And she began wondering if she was upset that Lovelace wasn’t interested in her, not out of vanity, but because she was interested in Lovelace, and subconsciously knew it and wanted it to be reciprocated.

Maxwell mentally rolled her eyes at herself; psychoanalyzing wasn’t her forte. But now that the possibility had entered her mind, she tried to keep herself from imagining what it would be like to let herself be attracted to the captain, because the more she thought about it, the more it appealed to her, in some vaguely embarrassing way. She felt, at first, like a hormonal teenager, fixated on her own feelings, which was something she rarely cared to dwell on. Was this desire sincere, or selfish? She couldn’t tell. But then one week became two weeks, and she kept losing focus during muster, without even noticing.

“Doctor Maxwell? Would you care to join us?” Kepler asked dryly.

Maxwell brought her eyes back into focus. “Yes, Colonel. Sorry, sir. I was just thinking about replacing the fan belt in the--”

“I don’t care, Doctor,” he replied. “I _care_ that you pay attention.”

She nodded mutely. Lovelace caught her eyes and shot her a smirk. Maxwell, to her own mortification, felt a pang in her stomach as she tried to avert her gaze. A few minutes later, after Kepler barked, “Dismissed!” Lovelace followed Maxwell as she headed off to work.

“Something on your mind, Poindexter?”

Maxwell sighed. “Sort of.”

“Feel like sharing?” Lovelace asked. Her tone was unconcerned, as always, but her face betrayed some curiosity. “I don’t bite.”

“Well, I was just thinking, a couple weeks ago… What made you think I was--” The words stuck in Maxwell’s throat. “What made you think I liked women?”

Lovelace shrugged. “I don’t know. You give off a little of that vibe, maybe, or maybe I’m just rusty. Maybe a little bit was hope. Like I said, I’ve been stranded in space surrounded by straight people for, like, five years. It gets a little… bland. And, heh, you have to admit, you were totally flirting with me when you first got here.”

Maxwell scowled. “You wish.”

“Why do you ask, though?” Lovelace said.

“Well, I mean, it made me think,” Maxwell began. “And, well, I have liked men, before. And I’ve never really noticed myself being attracted to women, but when--" She took a deep breath. "Well, maybe... I’m not as straight as I thought I was.”

Lovelace nodded. “So, what, are you asking me for advice to help you through this gay panic? Cause I’ve--”

“Not… exactly,” Maxwell responded. “Because the only woman that comes to mind at the moment is you, Captain.”

A slow grin spread over Lovelace’s face. “Really?”

“Oh, stop that,” Maxwell quipped. “I wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t put the thought in my head.”

“Well, I must say,” Lovelace said. “You’ve got extraordinarily good taste. And, as a card-carrying lesbian, I’m proud to be doing my duty, even out here in this hellscape of cold, unforgiving space, and awakening any hidden feelings in an innocent--or maybe not so, in your case-- gal.”

Maxwell crossed her arms, suppressing a teasing grin. “This isn’t all about you, so don’t flatter yourself. I did come for advice, maybe, or--”

“Confirmation?” Lovelace cocked her head. “You’re cute, you know. Putting yourself out there. Getting all flustered. You can’t tell whether you want me, or you want me to want you. Let me tell you something I learned a while ago, doc. Gay thoughts are completely natural, and sometimes, the only way to sort them out is through trial and error. And what kind of scientist would you be to pass up a research opportunity?” Lovelace drew closer. “Can I try something?”

Maxwell nodded mutely, and Lovelace placed a hand on her jaw. Her palm was surprisingly soft; the hard-muscled captain seemed like the kind of person who would be covered in calluses. Lovelace leaned in, pressing their lips together.

Maxwell had jumped off the waterfall; exhilaration and panic mixed in her stomach, warming her cheeks and making her heart pound.

It was a short kiss, and after a few seconds, Lovelace pulled away. “What do you think?” she asked.

“I think…” Maxwell tried to collect her thoughts. “We’re breaking rules about fraternization, and probably running behind schedule, and wasting time and--and I know… that I’d like to do that again.” She grabbed the captain by the straps of her tank top and pulled; the zero-g caused them to float awkwardly towards each other, and they bumped noses.

“Well, that’s good,” Lovelace replied. “Me, too.”

She angled her mouth towards Maxwell, who was already reaching for her lips. They let themselves get completely distracted, lips pushing, teeth pulling, hands and tongues searching freely. Time slipped away from them, until--had it been seconds? minutes?--a hesitant voice shocked them into stillness.

“Doctor Maxwell?”

Maxwell backed up and ran a hand across her face. “Hera! What is it?”

“Oh, nothing. Well, I mean, not nothing, but--I just thought it might be helpful to remind you about today’s agenda before you got too, uh, _diverted_.” Hera’s voice jumped and glitched, and Maxwell felt the AI’s secondhand embarrassment more than her own.

“Yes, thank you, Hera,” she replied.

“...How much did you--” Lovelace began suspiciously.

“All of it, Captain. I see and hear everything inside the ship, and most things outside.” A sigh came through Hera’s speakers. “I am _always_ here.”

“But!” Maxwell interrupted. “We can trust you to keep a secret, right, Hera?”

“R-right.”

“Excellent. Now, I’ve got things to do. So do you, Captain.” Maxwell winked. “I’ll see you later.”

“Oh, you will,” Lovelace replied. “And Hera?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Stay out of my room.”

“Yes, sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> (projection?? what's that??)  
> tbh I vent-wrote this and I was going to keep it to myself but there's like... no?? lovewell fics?? so I've got to start filling up the tag.  
> anyway I'm still salty so remember: if someone tells you they're straight, it's not your place to tell them they're not!!!!! It's not that hard!!!!  
> [I'm on Tumblr, too ](chatchevalier.tumblr.com).


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